Ko-ntroversy with Karan

   

After three successful seasons of gentle rib tickling, back scratching and beating around the closet, Karan Johar is back with yet another season of Koffee with Karan. The tagline this time is ‘behind the scenes and beneath the sheets’ because as we all know that is where the real drama of Bollywood unfolds. The set has been redesigned to look like a lounge in the words of the host, but it ends up looking more like an Ekta Kapoor set complete with gaudy red piano and red coffee hamper. The carpet is a throwback to weddings from the 80’s where the bride and groom sat on thrones and took pictures with depressed half smiles. However gossip and sensationalism can never go out of fashion .So we are back with some old wine in a new bottle, and some new wine in an old bottle. 

The first episode was a letdown though. Coffee tastes best when its fresh, but neither Karan nor the conversation had anything refreshing about it. Unfortunately for Karan, he met the last person he would want to encounter on the opening episode of his show, a homophobic man. Welcoming Sallu in a suit that looked startlingly similar to the carpet on the set, Karan looked extremely uncomfortable from the word go. Blushing, gushing, nervous and sometimes concealing his offended sentiments as embarrassment, Kjo tried hard to portray Salman as the next best thing to coffee. Salman on the other hand looked had he had consumed a lot of liquor (chocolates?) or ‘brownies’ before the shoot. He kept rubbing his face almost struggling to keep his eyes open. Either that was his way of being ‘cool’ or he was just bored and high.

For a show that thrives on tongue in cheek comments, wit and occasionally sarcasm, Salman was a poor choice. He does not have the intelligence or finesse to be witty or even funny. The only time he actually made me smile was when he imitated Sanjay Dutt. Apart from that, his chauvinism, his insensitivity, and his total disregard for the feelings of women he has been in relationships, were all as evident as his homophobic barbs at the host.  The one genuinely hilarious moment was when Salman claimed he was a virgin. I mean, if he is a virgin, then Rakhi Sawant is a nun. Trying very hard to sustain the image building exercise that this appearance was supposed to be, Salman, a virgin in the smart department, let this facade drop quite easily. He suggested Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra’s alternative careers were those of housewives, Katrina Kaif  had made him and Ranbir lucky, and how his wedding with Sangeeta Bijlani was called off when he was caught cheating on her.

His father joined him on the show, perhaps giving us insights into Salman that the actor’s publicists will now try hard to cover up. Karan had carefully avoided the touchy topics of violence against women, killing endangered animals and running over people while drunk, but Salim Khan chose otherwise. As someone who is married to two women and lives with both of them, he perhaps has something to do with who his son has become. But before things could get genuine, Karan took out his handy little broom to brush the ugly truths under the ancient red carpet.


The second episode was far more interesting and had all the ingredients of an excellent cuppa. The lusciousness of good looking cousins Kareena and Ranbir, the sweetness of love, the spice of a rival actress becoming family, and of course the delicious foam of gossip that will remain on Kat’s (pun intended) whiskers. Karan Johar seemed a changed man; he let down his guard, wore bright blue, ganged up against his guests, laughed a lot and brewed a fresh pot of controversy.

Ranbir all but admitted that he and Katrina were gonna live happily ever after and Kareena sugar coated her dart of your-girlfriend-is-a-item-number-girl, by saying she would dance to Katrina’s item songs at their wedding. She also carefully steered away from any Mommy, or worse still step mommy tags. According to KKK she drinks champagne with Sara(how old is she again?) and keeps things uninvolved and simple.  Now doesn't that make her cool! After his controversial last appearance on the show, Ranbir seemed extremely composed and mature. Till of course the last segment on the Kapoor family where they both let their hair down and had a blast. I think ‘actor who means business’ is his new brand strategy, and he continues to undo the unfaithful playboy image that keeps peeping over his shoulder. He also managed to sneak in a remark about his parents will be happy with him getting married as long as its a woman. Quite cheeky there Ranbir, given that Karan Johar's production house has given you crucial hits in your still developing career. 

Koffee with Karan has worked in the past because the show appeals to our evil alter ego who is mean, voyeuristic and loves nuggets of nastiness and controversy. The concept also worked because it began at a time when stars were not accessible to the public through social media networking sites. Karan Johar brought them into our living room, put them on a couch and got them to ‘fess up their designs and desires. With an increasing access to information about stars, and a whole new generation of celebrities in waiting, Kjo may need to think of more ways to refresh his coffee, couch and controversy formula. Otherwise this coffee with Karan is going to taste like a venti sized decaf latte.