No Jadoo can save Krrish 3

You know there is something rotten in the state of the audience, if people actually tear up while watching Hrithik Roshan repeat popular steps from Koi Mil Gaya and Krrish, hoping that they were watching those movies instead. Krrish 3 came with big expectations. In his first appearance as Krrish, Hrithik dons his black cape to help a plane land, but the movie never really takes off. Hrithik’s cape looks like a cheap rexine purchase from Linking Road, Priyanka Chopra never really looks distressed or a damsel and Kangana Ranaut has a body suit that was born out of a very fertile male imagination.

Hrithik plays Rohit, the challenged father, Krishnaa the impossibly good looking waiter and watchman, and Krrish, the superhero whose facial muscles need a relaxant. All is super in their large bungalow in Mumbai- Rohit snacks on packs of Bournvita and invents cool gadgets, while his son flaunts his 6 pack even in bed, taking care to sleep in just his boxers and straightened hair. Krishnaa can never keep a job since he is busy saving the world, but this time he seems neither super not very heroic. Unlocking the brakes of a plane about to crash seems fantastic on paper but when you actually see the sequence it lands way short of expectations. Especially when the worst junior artists in Bollywood playing the passengers and pilots start giving Hrithik thumbs up’s saying “Thanks Krrish”. Its even more cringe worthy than the old Batman television show, where the words Pow-wow and Wham appeared in between fights. Everything seems to have a 1980’s hangover, including the sets, music, the costumes and the shiny gold chain and locket handed out as a birthday present.

Just when you think that things may get better when the Super Villain is introduced, things just get more distressingly hilarious. For concepts like mutants and semi humans to work, they need to be written and performed with a lot of sincerity. Characters from X Men or the Avengers are deeply rooted in insights into human nature and our eternal struggle for acceptance and appreciation.

Rakesh Roshan does not waste time for inspiration to strike and prefers to directly copy instead. So we have Vivek Oberoi sporting Professor’s X’s handicap and Magneto’s powers as Kaal.  He was engineered in a lab and uses his powers to dab on geisha like white paint and eyeliner. He spends his day, instructing Raju Kher and two other scientists who look like they also have Mogambo and Shakaal as a part of their work experience. Using his blood and animal DNA Kaal has created a bunch of bored looking mutants he calls Maanvars (Chacha Choudhary anyone?) whose super powers include flicking ice cream off cones with their long tongues, walking through curtains,  and prancing around sporting a horn. These mutants are the most one dimensional characters ever written in the history of cinema. Kangana of course is different, and hence she gets to make out in the most forgettable love song of the century.

Kaal’s dream is to destroy all of mankind, and replace them with his Maanvars while also making money by selling the antidote to the most tacky look vials of virus he spreads around. In the middle of this muddle Priyanka Chopra gets kidnapped, so that the DNA of her unborn child can be used to cure Vivek Oberoi’s paralysis. By this point you have given up trying to invest in any of these baboons, and are just waiting for the movie to end. While the climax does show some sparks of the sincerity that made the previous films fun to watch, it’s too little too late. In fact the VFX in the entire film do not reflect the supposed millions spent in creating them, and they certainly do not salvage this movie in any manner.

The biggest drawback of the movie are the poorly written dialogues that attempt to straddle the worlds of Chota Bheem and Amazing Spiderman, and end up drowning the movie. Hrithik Roshan tries very hard to play three roles and while the man’s sincerity in undeniable, he seems too conscious of his own ‘coolness’ and physicality to invest the simplicity and innocence that made Krrishna lovable. Vivek Oberoi’s acting career now stands six feet under the ground, and the epitaph will read, ‘Here lies the man who played Kaal- enough said.’ The tragedy is that we know the man can act, why he allowed himself to become a joke is mind boggling. Kangana Ranaut is pretty and has the most well behaved assets in town but like her co stars her super powers cannot salvage a role that requires her to mouth lines like “Kaal, Mumbai mein Virus ka effect kam ho raha hain…ab kya karein”.

A particular sequence of Krrish 3 involving a baby in a pram who almost gets killed, reminds us how powerful good cinema can be. This image of a helpless child caught in violence, was first used in 1925 film Battleship Potemkin, and has almost become symbolic of danger and a loss of innocence. Krrish 3 however will be remembered as a shoddily made film that creates no catharsis, gives us no thrills or hope and certainly no entertainment.